Oh my God so many nuggets in here that felt like they were plucked from my brain. I have such a weird relationship with writing. I actually don’t like it. It’s not something I crave. However I’m horrible at speaking and don’t feel that people really listen to me, so I write because it’s best way I know how to communicate what I’m really thinking. It IS hard work. Insanely hard. It stresses me out and makes me bite my nails but then also, I can’t imagine not writing because it’s the only thing I’ve ever done. This piece so perfectly captured what it’s like to have an often-tormented relationship with this craft, as you say, that simultaneously drives you crazy while also being something you can’t live without!
Thank you, Suzanne! I am so glad that this essay struck a chord with you. I totally get the part about writing due to people not listening. I also think often that writing might be the only thing I am good at and maybe that's why I write.
“I will soon turn 30 and one thought keeps crossing my mind: Fitzgerald published Great Gatsby when he was 29 and Donna Tartt published Secret History when she was 29 so what the heck am I doing with my life?”
I felt so frustrated when I found out Lin-Manuel Miranda debuted his first musical at age 25 (at that time I was turning 26), I wrote a poem about it 😂 Since then, I’ve been telling myself every piece of writing counts, because though many might not get published, it is working towards better, truer writing.
Ah der Jain. Those are such beautiful words. You expressed your feelings and the hopes that come with pursuing a creative life so beautifully. I could relate to So many things that you said.
As a kid I always wanted to write and paint. Yet life keeps on pushing us towards conformity, you sometimes end up feeling ashame for dreaming about leading a creative life. But if there is one thing I learned since being a mother is no matter how hard the road is, it is important to take time to work on our dreams. Even if just 15min per day, after a while it adds up.
We can start for us first and share our journey eventually. Because as this articles shows we are many feeling this way. And sharing our story makes us part of something bigger. We realise we are not alone. And like your lovely patreon, one day more and more people join your journey, and give you the last push you need to make that dream come true.
Your words are really beautiful and I am happy I stumble on your substack. Please keep writing you have a lot of talent, and I hope to see one day your book published 🙏
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment! It is always lovely for me to hear that my words have resonated with someone else. And thank you for the good wishes! I hope you continue to spend time on your art as well! 😊 🙏
Wow, this was powerful! So much of what you wrote resonated with me. Writer never seemed like something I could do to make money, because it was "creative" and I was on the STEM path. But as life has gone on, I am slowly starting to come to the realization that we can all be multi-faceted individuals and thrive.
I'm so glad this resonated with you, Marco! Being on a STEM path myself, I am also slowly coming to terms with the fact that I can choose to be a multi-faceted individual who isn't only defined by his job.
Perfectionism is something I struggle with a lot. And forgive me for relying a little on my art school days, but a lesson that was drilled into my head (and I was reminded of when you said that we are all human and art is a human creation) is rather than look for perfection, search for intention. I believe that if we perfectionists apart our work with this point of view, we will write with intention instead of just going to sleep.
I had a very similar experience around the start of the pandemic. I'd always loved writing but, like you, was terrified to share it with other people. Something in me broke when I realised I'd passed the age Mary Shelley was when she wrote Frankenstein: 18, and I was 19 at the time. I started writing ferociously and produced tens of poems and stories per week. They were actually pretty good, considering. But it took a lot out of me so this year, I decided to slow down, and have been focusing on whatever comes naturally ever since. We're all on weird and sometimes contradictory paths, but I'm glad we've both found our own writing paths. Loved this.
Hard note to compare, for sure, but many greats didn't release their best (or even only) works until much later in life. I am grappling with many of the same questions -- especially around judgement -- but this is the only way I've found to make sense of the world inside and out. Good luck.
“Writers write for themselves but writers also write to be read.” Yes! Even if it is just a single person. It’s so nice to be heard
Oh my God so many nuggets in here that felt like they were plucked from my brain. I have such a weird relationship with writing. I actually don’t like it. It’s not something I crave. However I’m horrible at speaking and don’t feel that people really listen to me, so I write because it’s best way I know how to communicate what I’m really thinking. It IS hard work. Insanely hard. It stresses me out and makes me bite my nails but then also, I can’t imagine not writing because it’s the only thing I’ve ever done. This piece so perfectly captured what it’s like to have an often-tormented relationship with this craft, as you say, that simultaneously drives you crazy while also being something you can’t live without!
Thank you, Suzanne! I am so glad that this essay struck a chord with you. I totally get the part about writing due to people not listening. I also think often that writing might be the only thing I am good at and maybe that's why I write.
“I will soon turn 30 and one thought keeps crossing my mind: Fitzgerald published Great Gatsby when he was 29 and Donna Tartt published Secret History when she was 29 so what the heck am I doing with my life?”
I felt so frustrated when I found out Lin-Manuel Miranda debuted his first musical at age 25 (at that time I was turning 26), I wrote a poem about it 😂 Since then, I’ve been telling myself every piece of writing counts, because though many might not get published, it is working towards better, truer writing.
I went through the same when I found out about Lin-Manuel Miranda a few years ago!
Beautiful note and I can relate to so many of your points. Especially the vulnerability of sharing your writing. It's one huge mental hurdle for me.
Thank you! Yes, sharing our work is a big struggle, something I still struggle with but slowly getting better.
Ah der Jain. Those are such beautiful words. You expressed your feelings and the hopes that come with pursuing a creative life so beautifully. I could relate to So many things that you said.
As a kid I always wanted to write and paint. Yet life keeps on pushing us towards conformity, you sometimes end up feeling ashame for dreaming about leading a creative life. But if there is one thing I learned since being a mother is no matter how hard the road is, it is important to take time to work on our dreams. Even if just 15min per day, after a while it adds up.
We can start for us first and share our journey eventually. Because as this articles shows we are many feeling this way. And sharing our story makes us part of something bigger. We realise we are not alone. And like your lovely patreon, one day more and more people join your journey, and give you the last push you need to make that dream come true.
Your words are really beautiful and I am happy I stumble on your substack. Please keep writing you have a lot of talent, and I hope to see one day your book published 🙏
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment! It is always lovely for me to hear that my words have resonated with someone else. And thank you for the good wishes! I hope you continue to spend time on your art as well! 😊 🙏
Wow, this was powerful! So much of what you wrote resonated with me. Writer never seemed like something I could do to make money, because it was "creative" and I was on the STEM path. But as life has gone on, I am slowly starting to come to the realization that we can all be multi-faceted individuals and thrive.
I'm so glad this resonated with you, Marco! Being on a STEM path myself, I am also slowly coming to terms with the fact that I can choose to be a multi-faceted individual who isn't only defined by his job.
Perfectionism is something I struggle with a lot. And forgive me for relying a little on my art school days, but a lesson that was drilled into my head (and I was reminded of when you said that we are all human and art is a human creation) is rather than look for perfection, search for intention. I believe that if we perfectionists apart our work with this point of view, we will write with intention instead of just going to sleep.
It will never be perfect, but is it intentional?
Love this insight! Thank you for sharing ☺️
Such a thoughtful reflection, I loved this.
Thank you :)
Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing. ☺️
Thank you!
I had a very similar experience around the start of the pandemic. I'd always loved writing but, like you, was terrified to share it with other people. Something in me broke when I realised I'd passed the age Mary Shelley was when she wrote Frankenstein: 18, and I was 19 at the time. I started writing ferociously and produced tens of poems and stories per week. They were actually pretty good, considering. But it took a lot out of me so this year, I decided to slow down, and have been focusing on whatever comes naturally ever since. We're all on weird and sometimes contradictory paths, but I'm glad we've both found our own writing paths. Loved this.
Thank you for sharing this! It is good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Nothing cheesy about anything you’ve written or shared. Thank you, it helps me to keep going.
Thank you!
Hard note to compare, for sure, but many greats didn't release their best (or even only) works until much later in life. I am grappling with many of the same questions -- especially around judgement -- but this is the only way I've found to make sense of the world inside and out. Good luck.
Thank you!